


Heed my senses, I can't do it alone

by Webtrinsic



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Delusions, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Father-Son Relationship, Flashbacks, Hurt Peter Parker, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempts, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Psychological Torture, Recovery, Seizures, Sensory Deprivation, Sensory Overload, Sick Peter, Team as Family, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Torture, Vomiting, spider sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2018-12-31 12:31:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12132561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Webtrinsic/pseuds/Webtrinsic
Summary: Peter thought things were going his way, he really did. His relationship with Tony was going great, his grades were steady, May was supporting his heroic debuts and his friendship with Ned had never been stronger.But when the man lurking in the shadows, whose all-consuming addiction to the senses affiliated with the red and blue vigilante kidnaps him, things quickly go south.In the meantime, Tony's fearful he'll never find the boy he's come to see as his son.Will Peter ever be alright? Tony's not sure, but he'll do everything and anything to ensure that boy's well-being.He just hopes the world isn't too much. It's Tony against the world, and for Peter, he'd win every time.





	1. Life is good

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter of many, I hope you all enjoy this adventure. There won't be a scheduled updates, and I've been rather busy, but I will try my best to update as much as I can and as soon as I can. I hope you enjoy.

"Hey Penis Parker, what's got you so happy? Did you finally get that vibrator under your bed to work?" Flash taunted, Peter's smile didn't falter though.

"No, Mr. Stark gave me a promotion," Peter said in his most as a matter-of-fact tone. It wasn't a lie, Mr. Stark had updated his suit. It could now hook up to his Stark phone! Also a gift from Mr. Stark, but this wasn't any normal Stark phone.

It could only be opened by him, it was fingerprint activated. He knew it was more than probable, that May's, Happy's, and possibly Ned's, and Mr. Stark's prints could open it if the situation called for. The glass screen was bulletproof, the phone reinforced with what Peter was sure was stainless steel. Maybe something more, he wasn't sure. The thing didn't even have any seams, it couldn't be tampered with.

"You're still on this Stark thing? When will you get it through your head? Tony Stark will never have anything to do with someone as insignificant as you. Do you really think a genius like him, would ever, ever work with someone as retarded as you?" He questioned, drastically adding emphasis to the word ever.

"Yo dude that's not cool," Ned spoke up, walking into the conversation. Peter waved him off, "It's fine Ned, you and I both know that's not true."

Ned of course knew, but he also knew Peter's underlying insecurities. Peter really didn't think of himself worthy enough to even breathe the same air as the billionaire. It's just sometimes he gets so excited he forgets. And when he does remember, well Peter's never quite himself the rest of the day. He may seem alright, but it's always the little things that prove otherwise.

A slight hesitance in each movement, his thought processes either slowing or going completely over his head. His stutter returns sometimes too, though that one is a little more noticeable than the others.

Peter was all too aware Ned knew those intimate details and was admittedly glad to have such a doting friend in his corner.

"Seriously you're bringing Neddy into this? You're just backing him up since you two have probably been blowing each other in bathrooms since the third grade," Flash continued to nag.

"I don't even think I knew what sex was in the third grade," Ned spoke up. Luckily the bell rang before Flash could get in his retort, and cursed, "Shit my class is on the other side of campus!"

Peter and Ned laughed as their bully ran down the quickly crowding hall and carried on to their chemistry class.

\---

At the last bell, Peter's head shot up, neck cracking at the movement before half hazardously shoving his books in his bag. Every day he waits with bated breath, waits to slide the suit over his body as if it was just another layer of skin.

Whatever it takes, anything to fly. Anything to be able to save someone, to be able to tell Mr. Stark what he did! Well, Happy, he knew Mr. Stark has some important meeting today and knew not to call his phone directly.

By now though he was used to giving his report to Happy, the man had even started answering. Asking if he was alright, praising the smallest accomplishments of the day. Saving a cat from a tree, helping someone cross the street, and stopping a few muggings. (AKA grand theft bicycles).

Today maybe he'd do more, stop a bank robbery, get in a car chase, do something extraordinary. Even if he didn't do anything great today, they'd be proud.

His grades were great, and he was having dinner with his Aunt tonight. Ned would be coming over to play Star Wars on the PlayStation Tony had so graciously gifted him one afternoon after winning the science fair.

The thought brought a smile to his face, a small lopsided thing that everyone who knew Peter Parker lived to see.

\---

"Hi, Happy!" Peter called, glad he didn't actually need to hold the phone now that it was attached to his suit. It'd be so much harder to hold a phone and the Thai food while a couple hundred feet in the air. He'd been going higher and higher, wanting to test his limits, the first time he had, Karen instantly had spoken up.

Concerned, she asked if it was intentional, before Mr. Stark's voice cut in, "Kid you're going a little high there. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's great! Wohoo!" He cheered excitedly, laughing before going a tad bit higher, he could see the slight concern on the man's face when the call turned to face-time.

"Please be careful, you really don't need to go so high," Tony's voice was soft and concerned, and Peter stopped instantly, assuring his mentor he'd be careful. Making sure to let Tony know that if anything happened he was sure with the gliders and his parachute, they most likely would catch him, also that he could stick to walls. Not to mention his webs.

Tony nodded, smiling lightly as Peter's eyes lit up as he flew in his own way, a whoop falling from his lips.

"Alright kid," Tony relented, watching as the boy swung throughout the buildings. Heart hammering, but floating at the happy sound of the kid's excitement.

Now that Karen and Tony knew he'd go higher, Tony noting he'd gone exceptionally high with the Vulture, he relented. He trusted the kid. He really did. He'd just have to make it safer. If only to stop the unrelenting anxiety occupying his every thought. And if Tony had increased the strength of the gliders and now the parachute could retract itself. It was only for him to know. And now the parachute may or may not be red, with a black spider emblem on it. But Peter would be safe, and that's all that mattered.

\---

Peter crawled through the window, careful with the food. Aunt May would be home in around ten minutes, so he changed, showered quickly, slipped on his stormtrooper footie pajamas; Knowing Ned was going to be wearing his similar Chewbacca jammies.

"I'm home tough guy, Did I keep you waiting?" May asked, and he shook his head no quickly. "No, no, no. You..you didn't keep me waiting."

He stuttered, frightened of having her feel as if she'd burdened him. She'd never done that, well maybe when she'd screamed and yelled at him over the Spider-Man thing. But he knew better than to complain, he knew all about the worry that came with the job.

Danger around every bend of the road, and under every sewer cap littering the street. She'd lost enough as is, he was all she had left. And she was his only family left, there was no blood between them, but there they stayed. Perfectly under the Parker name, and all throughout their dinner with quick quips here and there. Peter couldn't quite banish the thought that the Parker name was nothing but bad luck.

"How was patrol?" She asked lovingly, shining a bright smile, looking at him with interested eyes through looped lenses.

"It was great!" Peter laughed, "You should have seen the dude when I ordered the Thai! We got free Larb!"

The little family laughed, May pulling Peter close for a hug after she'd cleaned up. Pressing a soft kiss to his temple, before stalking to her room; Knowing it was the weekend and Ned would be arriving shortly.

"You two have fun, Night tough guy."

"Night May."

\---

"Dude no fair!" Ned exclaimed as he crashed into another tree. Peter leaned in as he drove his speeder through the course. Peter laughed in turn, an idea popping into his head.

The biggest shit-eating grin lit up Peter's face as he continued to beat Ned. Hanging upside down, from the ceiling, avoiding every tree in his troopers path.

Peter couldn't be happier.


	2. I'm still here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies I know it took some time for me to get this out but I hope you forgive me since I'm a rather busy person with a break in one week so updates will be coming soon!!!!!
> 
> LET THE WHUMP BEGIN

It started with a fledgling sense of unease, but Peter couldn't quite put it past his anxiety acting up. Shrugging it off Peter dragged himself from his twin bed, looking wearily up at the top bunk.

No, nothing was there. No monster, no killer waiting to jump his lanky frame. Giving a weak smile, the teen brushed off the feeling of unease. He'd always been told he had an overactive imagination, maybe it was just getting away from him, that was all and nothing more.

\---

The feeling returned once more, mere minutes after the first. And Peter watched carefully as his Aunt ate in front of him. There was no apparent danger in sight. This time Peter wasn't as quick to dismiss the feeling of disquiet resonating around them.

"Something wrong?" May asked even if she didn't expect an answer.

"Do you ever just feel a little on edge?" Peter asked carefully, earning a sympathetic smile in turn. With a smooth movement, May was standing and softly pulling her nephew into a hug.

"It's okay tough guy, everything's alright," She assured, and Peter rested his head heavily against her taller frame in comfort. He believed her.

May knew the poor boy she'd taken in those many years ago needed this reassurance, and maybe he always would. And she'd provide it, without question or hesitance.

Peter deserved to be safe and very much deserved to be saved. If not from others, then himself. Peter hummed as her fingers carded through his hair, her heart pounding rhythmically against his ear.

The sound of his watch breaking him from her veil of comfort, Peter sighed, and reluctantly let go. He'd miss the train if he didn't leave now, and May smiled brightly. Easing his back-pack onto his shoulders before kissing his cheek.

"Have a good day," She called, giving a smile. Peter instantly forgetting the distress his body had sensed moments ago. If she was happy, he would be too.

\---

Slipping his headphones onto his ears, Peter's gaze fell to his phone. One hand clutching the subways rail as the car bustled with people grumbling and reading the paper. The scent of their coffee wafting throughout the vehicle.

It made his stomach growl, his metabolism made it feel as if he never ate enough. And he wouldn't ask May to make him more, he loved her to death but he wasn't going to suffer through more date loafs than he had too.

The turbulence of the car shook him, his feet never once moving. Now that Peter thought about it, did he really even need to hold on?

No, he really didn't. But his hand refused to move, someone was watching him. And with a quick glance around, Peter quickly looked down. Silently berating himself for being so obvious, but no one had been looking. No one at all.

He was seriously starting to consider he was sick, why else would he be so paranoid? Lifting his left arm Peter checked his watch and tucked his phone into his pocket all in one swift movement.

Tony had packed everything into the watch, much like he did the phone. Peter smiled lightly at the Health app, the icon a small black spider, and the red spot on its back a heart.

He'd never once clicked the app before, but the watch was constantly monitoring his pulse, blood flow, and god knows what else.

The app opened with a silly animation of the spider spinning out onto the screen as an instant monitor of his heart opened. It was a little fast if nothing else.

Before he could search any further he'd made it to his stop, Peter couldn't remember a time he'd gotten off the train faster.

\---

Keeping up with tradition, school was as uneventful as always. His hands shaking with an anxiety he hadn't experienced in a while, and Peter was growing frightened. He couldn't understand why he was so anxious.

Ned looked over at him worriedly, "Are you okay? You don't look so good." Peter's clammy pale hands were trembling, and his body stood as straight as a rod.

"I don't know, It's...it's...nothing," He admitted, his paranoid thoughts wandering aimlessly. Stealing him away from the endless hours of babble he already knew.

It was a gift when the last bell rang, he could finally feel safe in his second skin.

\---

Curiously peering around the brick building, his mind relentlessly running faster than what he could keep up with.

"Peter your heart rate is-"

A high-decibel screech sent him falling, Peter's head shook. Karen unable to make a sound as her audio failed, she also couldn't hear as her young master screamed in agony. Every sound in his head being elevated from eleven to a hundred.

His eyes unwilling to stay open, as he fell toward's the ground. Body limp, every sound causing a whispered cry to escape his lax throat.

It wasn't the parachute, nor was it the gliders that caught the unconscious vigilante. It was the man made of Iron, and Tony held Peter close. Red mechanical fingers carefully encompassing the boy's head to his chest, hand holding tightly to cover his ears.

FRIDAY calculated the sound wave quickly, and Tony inwardly cursed at the ratings. The sound alone was loud enough to damage one's hearing, he couldn't imagine how that sounded to Peter.

The suit would need to be fixed, and possibly the boy's hearing. But Karen managed to send his vitals and the true extent of the damage.

Temporary deafness, sensory overload, and a concussion from the sheer force of sound. Who's to say words weren't weightless?

FRIDAY admitted hesitantly, "There doesn't seem to be a source, sir."

Tony wore a bleak expression, that couldn't be possible. There was only one explanation that came to mind. They had fled as the boy fell from the sky.

\---

Peter slept quietly in the Avenger's facility's med-bay, Tony sitting bedside; The red and blue fabric in his arms, as he carefully reset the frayed circuits so Karen could once again hear Peter's voice.

Tony eyed the noise canceling headphones resting on the child's head, and he absolutely hated how small the boy looked in contrast to the twin bed he was laying in.

What had happened?

\---

Peter shyly looked away from Tony as he was released from med-bay, Tony's hand on his shoulder caused him to look up. Tony meeting him with serious dark chocolate eyes, carefully placing the suit in the boy's arms.

"Feel better kid," and Peter smiled shyly in turn.

"Thank you, Mr. Stark."

\---

Quick movement's swung him across the skyline, and he twisted rhythmically throughout the bright lights of the city. The corner of his eye-catching a bright light, unlike the others.

Landing in a crouch on a modestly sized building, Peter turned to the light. It vanishing before he could lay his eyes on it. Again a shining light caught his peripheral, and he turned. But nothing was faster than light, not even Spider-Man.

Karen hummed, "It may not wise to look directly at the light Peter, it seems to be distorting my visual input."

Only then did Peter notice the edges of his lenses blurring slightly in the darkness. Quickly stopping when the light blinded him, flashing faster than the sound that attacked him only days before.

Karen sounded in alarm, and Peter's hands quickly moved to cover his eyes. Falling onto the rooftop, his head pounding. His eyes didn't burn but they ached in protest.

Karen's visuals shorted out and Peter tore his eyelids open. The world blurry and distorted. The cities lights were too bright and he quickly shut his eyes against the gleams of city life.

Tears leaked from his sockets, trying desperately to help refocus his view. But Peter could do nothing more than curl on his side, and painfully look up at the red and gold figure now beside him.

Closing his eyes, Peter let his assumed mentor lift him. (Who else would appear in red and gold to save him?) Lolling his head onto the unyielding metal, Peter hid his eyes against the hard shoulder. Hoping to block out the luminous hues trying desperately to peek beneath his eyelids, even within the suit.

"It's okay buddy," Tony whispered quietly, holding back malice. Again no source of assault was detected, and Peter and his suit would once again have to be fixed.

Tony could tell something was happening, something was stalking the child who had seemingly fallen asleep mid-air in his arms. As he flew him back to medical.

\---

Peter tipped his head back, blinking at the eye drops Helen Cho had prescribed. Tony watching intently as Peter wiped away the fleeting medicine running down his cheeks.

The med-bays lights were dimmed lowly, Peter had purred happily at the change. FRIDAY slowly increasing the brightness of the room throughout the day in an attempt to help his eyes refocus, Peter, thanked her silently and gratefully.

Tony had smiled softly at that, a deep pain etching into his features every time Peter looked away. Spider-Man was in danger, and the billionaire unable to find the source of the boy's continuous threats, didn't know what to do.

\---

Peter waved at the Audi before the car started slowly driving away. Both Happy and Tony watching intently as Peter entered the building until he was out of sight.

Peter humming _"I'm still here,"_ from _Treasure Planet_ , while tiredly pulling himself up the steps. The clock reading 9:48 pm, Peter realizing Aunt May would be up still. Probably waiting for him with warmed up left-overs.

Peter smiled with his lopsided grin at the thought, it quickly depleting when he saw the open door of his apartment. His neck tingling, mind screaming.

Bounding forward, Peter ran inside. May lay unconscious on the floor, and suddenly with a crash and flashing lights. Peter's world went black, and he truly knew nothing would be alright.


	3. Here is how I'll break your mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3!!!!!
> 
> WOOO SAWYER CREEL IS AN ASSSSSSSSSS, MY POOR BABY PETER. LET THE ANGST AND WHUMP BEGIN!!!!  
> I HOPE YOU ENJOY AND THANK YOU FOR READING

Turning through the cities traffic, Happy peaked through the rearview mirror at his boss. Worry etched into the billionaire's features, his head idly resting against the window as the cities lights reflected against his sunglasses.

Happy didn't understand at first why he was wearing them, but he figured it out soon enough. Peter would have been able to tell he was concerned, and Tony Stark _only_ ever cared from a distance. His relationship with Peter broke many of the man's boundaries, and Happy could clearly tell it wouldn't take long for that dam to break.

As Tony's worry crept up on him, his eyes slowly started to slip closed. Exhausted. Caring had always been stressful for him, but the stress a fifteen-year-old boy could inspire was truly miraculous.

And a mere second after his eyes slipped shut, FRIDAY spoke up.

"Peter Parker's vitals spiked before lowering to unconscious levels. I’ve lost all readings entirely."

Tony's eyes shot open, and Happy swerved into an illegal U-turn. Tony didn't have to tell him to haul ass back to the Parker residence because they both knew something was terribly wrong.

It didn't take long at all of them to arrive, Tony in his all-consuming worry had broken the seatbelt off and shot out the car and through the building's door.

Hurrying up the steps, expecting a fight. He saw the watch in the hall. It lay on the floor in front of the open apartment door. He launched forward grabbing the watch and looking for a possible intruder, there was no enemy in sight. Happy approached from the steps, slightly winded as Tony's eyes fell on May's unconscious form.

"Call the ambulance," Tony barked, kneeling beside her and inspecting her for injuries. A small cut resided on the side of her head, she'd been knocked out.

The blood was warm, she probably had been attacked only minutes before they'd dropped Peter off. And...Peter had been taken seconds after they rounded the corner.

Words couldn't describe the dismay eating away at his heart. Tony looked around, the medics quickly pouring in. Investigators inspecting the room while May was carefully wheeled out.

Tony nodded for Happy to go with her, and of course Happy went along. They had been after Peter specifically, they may have thought they wouldn't need to take his Aunt as leverage. But Tony knew it was safer to increase her protection in case the bastard decided to come back.

The baffled look of the investigators soon captured his attention and a horrifying realization was brought to mind.

They'd hurt, and they'd taken Peter without a trace. The knew how to avoid street cams, and knew how to bypass a multi-million dollar suit.

And Tony didn't have a clue in finding him.

\---

A stillness resonated within his now blearily quiet mind, his eyelids resisting his call for them to open. Peter tried to find his consciousness to no avail.

A panic quickly filling his mind, body jumping at the memory of his Aunt possibly lifeless on the floor. He didn't go far, his body bound painfully tight.

It unyielding, even against his super-strength. Tearing his eyes open, Peter gazed in petrified astonishment.

He knew what was holding him. And he wasn't quite sure he believed it. The enormity of the situation hit him hard, and Peter's exhausted and panic-stricken mind couldn't hold back the tears forming.

Alone in the dark spacious room, he sat alone in his boxers. Bound to a chair with the same metal that made up Captain America's shield. _Vibranium_. And from what Peter could tell, the chair was reinforced too.

Peter sobbed, checking his wrist for the watch. It was gone. Tony couldn't trace him, May could be dead, and in his panic, he'd lost the ability to breathe.

And the darkness clouding his vision only made it worse.

"No..." He choked a second before the darkness consumed him whole.

\---

Tony didn't go home that night, standing in the center of his protege's room. The boy's clock reading 4:39 am. FRIDAY telling him again and again, no traces of Peter's captor were found.

The relentless wave of emotions bombarding him forced the tears from his eyes. No matter how hard he tried to hold back his cries, they'd won. Leaving his composure miles behind.

Little did he know, Peter was crying too.

\---

Waking to what Peter knew would be his new found hell, shuddered at the cool air kissing his bare skin. Eyes bulging slightly when he felt the strong metal that kept him still was wrapped around his mouth.

Looking at the warbled reflection in his bound wrist, the mask around his face vaguely reminded him of the Winter Soldier.

"Now look who's up, it's an honor to meet you, Peter. Spider-Man, whichever you prefer," A seemingly adoring voice sincerely stated. As if Peter could really answer.

"Either is fine, I've been watching you for quite some time now. That red in blue suit truly catches the eye, and of course those webs of yours. Don't think the city doesn't look up when you make your rounds."

Peter looked up strongly, trying desperately not to let his fear show. The man before him stood at 6'0 feet, with chestnut hair, a few tinges darker than Peter's own. With greyish green eyes, a medium-sized torso, clothed in supposed battle dress with thick black boots encompassing his feet.

"But the things that stood out to me, weren't your webs or your bright colors. It was your senses. So clearly better than any normal human. And I've always been a man of science, curiosity, and well I couldn't just let you get away," The man explained, his voice an almost whine. Having Peter here meant everything to him, and his thirst for knowledge would kill him if he didn't sate it.

  
The teen wanted to back away, his stalker frightened him. How had he done all this? Had he really set this whole thing up just to test him? How would he test him? And Peter may be a smarter than average person, but quickly named himself as the biggest idiot on the planet.

The wave of sound and the flashing lights, it had all been him.

Sawyer watched the child carefully, giving a perfect smile. The defiant look the boy stared at him with was impressive. But the longer he looked, a feeling of anger and morbid curiosity took over him.

And in a matter of seconds, he knew he wanted to break the hero's spirit. Such a fine specimen. He wouldn't let the vigilante go to waste.

"I see you've noticed the restraints. Cost a pretty penny, it really did. But hey, you know you're priceless? You really are. Of course, others may think you'd cost a bit with your abilities, but now that I know you're a genius too? If anyone else found out they wouldn't have to work a day in their life."

Peter's eyes widened at the statement, he hadn't thought of that. But the man's words held a startling truth. Trying to pull out of the restraints. Peter cursed inwardly, unable to move his lips.

"When I told Mr. Klaue about why I was buying the Vibranium, oh you should have seen him, kid. Reminded me of when I bought the tech from some of Vulture's old men. They really wanted to hurt you kid, I even got the tech pretty cheap," he laughed, pulling a chair out of seemingly nowhere. Turning it around as he sat, arms resting on its top rail.

Fear bled into the young hero's eyes, had he told someone else about his identity? Had he told one of Vulture's old men? Peter could feel his heart jumping out of his chest, the noise numbing his ears.

"Not to worry Mr. Parker," Sawyer began, a new tactic coming to mind, "Or is that your uncle Ben?" He'd done his research, and it truly did come in handy.

He could already see the shock setting into those brutally wide eyes. Tears quickly welling up into the soft brown windows to the soul, it was fascinating.

"I know everything about you, Peter. I know everything about Spider-Man. Skip still finds you tempting, Ben's blood is still on your hand's. Tony Stark is still very much disappointed in you, and now your Aunt's been hurt because of you."

Silent sobs racked the bound boy's body, tears falling freely. His head falling forward, his resolve breaking.

With a grin, Sawyer Creel stood from his chair. Knowing the experiment had begun. But the day would pass in silence. The real test would begin at midnight. But for now, the young vigilante could rest.


	4. Day one, Eyes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the first of the Peter whump :3 I hope you enjoy my loves!

Peter woke with his eyes already open. Held open by forceps, slow drips of moisture falling into the organs. The device resembled an oculus rift, two split screens covering each eye. But no video was playing, that didn't mean it wasn't on.

The chair had a new addition, a presumably Vibranium rod coming out the top of the top rail. His head tipped back, the mask holding his mouth clipped to the post to keep his head in place.

A whimper escaped his throat, as a new noise was brought to attention. Someone rising from a chair. He had a feeling he knew who it was, the heavy foot-falls only confirmed it.

"Morning _Mr. Parker_ ," Sawyer tested, hoping for a reaction. The boy's already stiff shoulders were now impossibly tense.

The flash of blood reminisced in Peter's mind, he'd never wanted to remember Ben this way. He wanted to remember his reassuring strong hugs, and how his smile held perfect teeth. Not his dying breaths and the blood falling from his lips and spilling from his torso. Not the life leaving his body, and his eyes losing their sheen of vitality.

A large hand was placed on Peter's thigh, and Peter couldn't help but flinch. He knew what the man was doing, knew he wanted to bring back the horrid memories of his past.

"It's 11: 57 pm Peter, but don't worry _Pet._ Now we can really see how much you can take. You're a man of science, I'm sure you understand. No matter how unethical, the results are what matter," He hummed.

Skip had called the boy Pet, and he knew nothing would turn his stomach more.

Picking up the red noise-canceling headphones, he slid them over the boy's ears. Slowly backing out of the room as the clock struck twelve.

The left screen lit up brightly, Peter feebly attempting to close his eyes. The right screen held a pinprick of red, it was seemingly miles away.

Peter knew better than to focus on it, but he couldn't look away no matter how hard he tried.

The red dot came closer until it was rushing forward quickly. Red covering the whole screen, flashing before the green and blue lights warped and sizzled through the red.

The white light acted as a strobe, becoming impossibly brighter with each flash. Soft whines held tight to the boy's throat, unable to escape his lips.

Now that Peter had time to think, avoiding the pain erupting behind his eyes. He found himself grateful that his Aunt was alive, eyes watering on account of his tears, the dropper that bled moisture into his eyes seemingly useless now.

The colored lights zoomed in and out, and the pain erupting from his skull stole him from those thoughts. He was screaming, his throat ached and Peter felt as if it was bleeding on the inside. All because it couldn't tear itself from his lips. Teeth clenching uncontrollably tight, luckily not on his tongue.

His eyes rolled back so only the whites of his eyes showed, Peter couldn't think. Unaware that he was breathing heavily. Body seizing uncontrollably, the band's around his limbs keeping him as still as possible.

The blood or foam crawling up his throat caused the unconscious body to choke and sputter, and the poor boy still shook as the mouthpiece was pulled away and he vomited the saliva and grime that accumulated in his throat into the waiting bucket in Sawyer's arms.

When he was done vomiting, the seizure nowhere close to over. The piece was gently placed in his mouth once more. Only half an hour had passed, there was still twenty-three and a half hours to go.

\---

May wakes up to an immaculately kept room and porcelain white walls. Her head throbbed, and the image of seeing someone dressed in black behind her. Swinging what she assumed had been a baton at her head before everything went black. Held tight to the forefront of her mind.

A strawberry blond who she easily recognized as the woman behind Stark industries. Pepper Potts. Sat beside her.

She gave a sympathetic look, as May's hand flew up to her head. A bandage lay taped over the small gash, the cut held together by butterfly bandages beneath the cotton pad.

May's concern didn't stem from the woman at her bedside, or even that she'd been attacked in her own home. It was who was missing, Peter. If she was here, he'd have never let go of her hand until she woke. But he wasn't here, and the woman's sympathetic forboding look only meant one thing.

They'd been after Peter. And as far as she knew, they'd succeeded.

"Hello Mrs. Parker, I'm Pepper Potts," Pepper introduced herself, pressing the button for the doctor to come in.

And there was one thing the two women had in common, they may be polite but it was dangerous to stand in the way when something they cared about was on the line.

"Where is Peter? And where is Stark?"

The doctor ushered in, only to be waved off by May as she practically ripped out the unnecessary IV, but to them, it'd always been better safe than sorry.

"Miss Parker please," Pepper begged, watching the blood fall from the women's wrist.

"Where?" May shouted again.

"We don't know where Peter is, and Tony hasn't left your apartment," Pepper spoke up, and May stopped suddenly. The doctor carefully grabbing her arm and wrapping it as she stared at the blond.

Pepper grabbed the folded outfit she'd picked out for the Parker, before handing it to her. May took it silently and changed in the sectioned off restroom. Tears threatened to fall but died in her eyes, she needed to talk to Mr. Stark.

When she walked out, Happy and Pepper both stood in wait.

"I'd like to talk to Mr. Stark," she demanded calmly, tension in her vocal cords. And they couldn't possibly say no, Happy opened the door and May prowled out. She was on a warpath.

Nothing could stop her.

\---

Tony paced the small room, the door opening swiftly. He'd instructed no one come in, but this was May.

"Promise me you'll find him," She ordered, and Tony was vaguely reminded of a certain soldier who used to order him around. Only this time he'd listen.

"I will," He promised, his voice unwavering. And she felt a little more satisfied.

"Why'd they take him?" She asked softly, and she'd never seen such a worn look on the billionaire's face. She hadn't even thought it was possible.

"The attacks from the last week, it was them that did this. I don't know what they want from him, but May I promise you. I won't rest until he's found."

\---

Peter came down from his thirteenth seizure, mind unable to come up with anything more than fits of sadness and fear. The colors had morphed into a resplendent onslaught.

The images switching eyes before the brightness was pressing on his retinas relentlessly.

Peter wished he could scream.

\---

Tony had found the courage to finally part from the boy's room, had he really thought the child would come crawling through the window at any moment?

No, the watch in his hand proved otherwise. Peter wasn't coming home on his own, and Tony prayed to deities he didn't believe in that he would make it home at all.

Staring down at the watch that should have never left the boy's wrist, even on patrol. Tony admitted softly.

"You're gonna be the death of me, kid."


	5. Day two, Ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of psychological torture! what a way to start off October. 
> 
> warning for very strong subject matter!

The distressing feeling of someone adjusting the headphones perched on his head brought him down from what seemed to be his hundredth seizure. His skull burned on the inside, just behind the eyes. The two organs throbbed, and he closed them tightly, hoping to stem the pain.

His discombobulated conscious barely registering that they were no longer being held open. And the device that once displayed the detestable light lay on the table a few feet away. A snug sleeping mask molded around his face, and Peter would only vaguely realize how much of a blessing it truly was.

It had saved him from watching the clock strike twelve.

\---

Tony looked down at the red and blue suit in his arms, Peter's watch firmly attached to his wrist just above his own. Karen who was also synced with the teen's watch stimulated the boy's heartbeat. The one she'd been constantly monitoring since they'd been paired.

The billionaire had been momentarily startled before he silently thanked the AI. He only hoped that the boy's precious heart was still beating.

The footage of Rhodey's patrol and all of the street cams in Queen's for the past month played before him. The genius scanning the screen in constant search, eyes straining painfully as he watched Peter's routine.

Leaving fairly early in the morning to catch the subway, dropping by the newly refurbished sandwich shop to get his usual sandwich. Petting the fat cat that sleeps peacefully on the counter, before picking up some sour gummy worms for patrol. Paying and heading back home.

And when Peter started patrol directly after school, he ducked into an alley with no surveillance. Before emerging clad in the armor he'd put his heart, soul, sweat, and tears into.

Two clips were brought to his attention, Peter precariously webbing his backpack up before only minutes later it was stolen. The man wore a black hoodie, dark jeans, large black boots with his brown hair peeking out. Tony brought himself closer to the screen, watching as the man cut the corner.

Disappearing without a trace.

Tony's grin widened until it fell painfully, the man's face had been hidden. He may have shown himself. But the search for Peter was still unbearably cold.

  
\---

A sizzling whine whispered in the boy's left ear. A crackling hum popped in the back of his head. Until it went silent, his throbbing head couldn't count the seconds or minutes he was cast in the rich silence.

The voice startled him, he hadn't heard it in years. It now only existed in his nightmares, memories, and sometimes in the anxiety and panic attacks that crept up on him when he thought everything would be okay.

_"You're such a good pet, so good for me. Always taking what I give you, even if it scares you."_

Peter tugs at the bonds, his mind supplying it was no longer the strong metal. It was the bristly rope Skip had bound him with when he wanted to hold him still. Even when he'd cry and struggle, wrist chaffed and rubbed raw until they bled.

_"I know it hurts Pet, but you love it slut. You love what Master gives you, even if it hurts."_

The bound boy sobbed, unable to shake his head no. Figuring it was because Skips hand was thrust into his hair, not because his head was still chained to the pole.

 _"Struggle all you want Pet, I'll only hold you tighter next time. You won't feel the blood in your extremities, all you'll feel is me filling you up and giving you what you deserve. And you'll like it,"_ Skip's echoing voice taunted.

Reliving the horrid tendencies and mindset Skip had instilled in him, Peter sobbed in agony. He believed every word of it.

\---

 

Walking towards Peter's room in the compound, he found May holding the boys Porg plush close to her chest while sitting on his bed.

She straightened up at his appearance, standing and straightening the crinkles and creases in her clothes. As if it would help the disarray she was currently feeling.

"Has Peter's stuff been going missing?" He asked carefully, and May looked startled.

"He'd been saying he'd been losing a few things, homework assignments. Ones I've seen him working on, his journal where he...just it's personal. He couldn't find it a few days ago."

"If we go back to the apartment, do you think you would notice if anything else was missing?" Tony asked cautiously, mind tumbling in concern.

 _He'd taken Peter's personal journal_. And Tony desperately wanted to read the pages and treat every wound that bled onto those pages.

He'd been warned once before by Ned, that Peter's past had always been checkered. May once begging for him to be careful, that Peter's gone through enough already. And he didn't take those warnings lightly, Peter had become just as much his as he'd been May's.

"Yeah, I can do that," She promised, following him as Happy brought the car around.

The two parental figures in the boy's life sat in the backseat, May breaking the silence.

"Do you think he'd have looked through Peter's file too?" It was a soft question, held tight with worry.

"File?" Happy asked gently, and Tony looked at curiously.

"Police reports and such..." May supplied, "Hospital records."

Tony nodded simply, "We'll go there next."

"Alright."

\---

 

 

The loud shouting of two men's voices begun. The next act of the play he supposes. Body weak in the confines. His struggle becoming weaker the more malnourished he'd become.

The weaker the body, the weaker the mind. The easier he'd become to break.

The men shouting quickly become the memory of that horrid night.

That horrid night where he held his uncle in his arms, and he felt as if he was drowning in that thing horrendous liquid. Coating him, coating his hands, his pants and pale skin.

That reassuring voice no longer offered comfort in his dying moments but the insecurities and guilt that'd seemingly become him.

_"I'm dead because of you. Why couldn't you just be a normal kid? I'd never been able to play ball with you, and I would have never asked for a child like you. You ruined my life and your Aunt's. This should have been you, you deserve this."_

And Peter unable to disagree with his Uncle agreed. It should have been him. It should have been him.

And May's sweet voice soon joined in, _"You ruined my marriage! You took him away from me! I was young, so young. I could have done so much more, but you had to come along. They should have never had you."_

He couldn't even apologize. It'd never be enough.

\---

 

 

May swept her trembling hands over her nephew's things, slowly sinking to the floor as she pulled out the things from beneath his bed.

"His old web shooters are gone," she admitted softly, eyes going glassy as she pulled out a thin box. It was empty, "Photos."

Tony watched carefully from the doorway, taking into account all that was missing. Seething at the thought of the boy's room being entered without his knowledge. And his wounds being torn open at the seams, secrets being read as if they were headlines.

His only remaining family hurt and mourning the loss of the only thing she had left.

"Everything else seems to be in place, I wouldn't know if anything else is missing," She admitted softly, looking up the billionaire who offered his hand to help her up.

She took it, and the stronger than he looked, man, helped her up.

"Let's go get his file," He suggested, and she nodded. Wiping away the tears threatening to fall.

\---

 

 

He was drained, body lulling him to succumb and fall into the open arms of sleep. Letting the pain and emotional anguish fade away. But he had to listen, and no matter how much he wanted. No matter how much his body craved it. He couldn't do it.

His throat felt scratchy, and all he wanted to do was a cough. To cough up the phlegm and sickness starting to annoy his aching throat in the newly acquired silence.

Stomach grumbling loudly, the vibrations making up for the complete lack of sound. He wished to eat, wished for the Thai food they often had when May burnt dinner. He'd eat that too because only then he'd feel at home. Feel safe with the burnt or unproperly cooked food that'd most likely give him food poisoning. But anything was better than this horrid hunger.

He hadn't eaten in days and wasn't sure if that was the true reason for the migraines. Not even the seizures that had led him to give into the horrid beliefs he struggled to push away.

He knew he no longer could.

_"I wanted you to be better."_

So did he. He wept at his mentor's voice.

_"I don't need that guilt on my conscious."_

"I know you don't, I'm sorry," He wanted to say, he begged to say.

He'd never be enough for Tony Stark. Never.

 _"They don't care about us...the rich and the powerful."_ Toomes' voice chimed in.

Peter knew he was talking about Tony. Knew that he could be right. The little strength he had left holding to the possibility his hero truly cared about him.

 _"I'm the only one who believed in you,"_ The sound of the wind and boats and sea surrounded his mentor's voice.

Tony Stark did not care about him. Not anymore.

Sawyer watched carefully as the boy sobbed and broke in his confines, Peter would never know any real recording was playing. Just the simple sounds that would bring him back to those moments.

Trauma needed only little prompting. An overactive mind could run a thousand miles with a mere ring of a bell.

  
\---

 

The secretary pulled Peter's file from the drawer, a quizzical look on her face.

"Odd pulling someone's file out twice in a month, normally when we do that there's something to add."

"Someone took it out?" Tony spoke up, and the women nodded.

"Nice man, said something about being a therapist. Even had Mrs. Parker's signature and he took a few things out and left."

May took the file carefully, settling on the bench. Happy watching her carefully as Tony went back with the women so they could go through the building's footage.

May knew what was missing, and held the folder tightly to her chest. Eyes brimming with tears, and Tony came back with a sullen look on his face.

The cameras had shorted out when the man was a block away and went back to normal when he had left. His face never once showing.

Tony took the mans descriptions to heart, though in New York it wouldn't get him far.

May rose from the seat, walking past the two men. They followed quickly, as she slid into the car. The file still held tightly to her chest, as she sobbed.

The men were scared to get into the car and were scared to leave the woman alone.

But Tony quickly found the courage to pull the handle and slide in.

"May, what did he take?" He prodded gently, Happy slowly sliding into the front seat.

"Peter," She sobbed, and tears pricked in all their eyes at the statement.

He had to know what had been taken and asked again.

"What did he take May?" Voice wavering, as he cleared his throat to ward off any tears.

"His..." May wiped her tears away, trying desperately to keep her voice steady. Tony would save Peter, and needed her help.

"He took a folder from when we had dealt with an older boy named skip," She hiccuped, "And the police reports for my husband's death. And two other hospital bills, and a folder from the psychiatrist."

Happy eyed the two through the rearview mirror, May's head still cast down. Deciding it was time for them to go home, and carefully drove them back to the compound.

Not a sound coming from any of their mouths.

\---

 

A creak caused a gasping sob to escape the boy's throat. Body trembling madly at what was to come. He couldn't breathe any longer, he choked on his sobs.

The rusty gnashing of concrete and water dripping causing him to scream out in agony. For help, for someone to save him. But no one heard him, no one at all heard him.

Not the first time, and certainly not through the metal holding his mouth shut.

The crash echoed through his mind and distress fell from the boy's body in waves.

The horrid whoosh of strong wings slicing through his core, leaving him in two.

The empty dial tone of Happy's unanswering phone accompanied it. Proving the absence of relief, the absence of succor.

The scrunching of his torso from that night caused his chest to jolt with the ghosting of lingering pressure. The gurgle of his throat as he coughed up the puffs of dust and water that'd taken residence there.

Quickly becoming the dying winds and pulsing purr of the plane's engines, and the rattle of the blades spinning in a constant rhythm.

And the throb of the world shaking around them as they crashed on the beach. Turning into the deafening silence, an underlining ringing imprinted on his mind.

Replaying in a constant tune, eventually pulling him into a restless slumber.

\---

 

  
May stepped from the car as they pulled up to the facility, her skimming through the contents of the file as if what was missing had found their way back.

Of course, those files were gone, and the two men waited for her to elaborate.

She sat on the couch, Pepper and Rhodey stepping in to greet them.

"Any luck?" Rhodey asked carefully, sensing the unrest.

"We got a physical description, and he took a few personal items," Tony explained, Happy giving a nod.

"Mrs. Parker would you like anything to drink?" Pepper asked softly, and May nodded with a small Thank you.

Pepper rushed off to get her some warm tea, as Tony took a seat across from May. Hands clasped in front of him, as he stared down at his shoes.

"When Peter was thirteen he became friends with an older boy, seventeen years old. I don't know when something started, but he started acting weird. Soon enough he confessed during a panic attack for sexual assault," May calmly explained, and Tony's head shot up.

Pepper nearly dropped the glass she was holding, before handing it to May.

The air was tense, and Tony's eyes riveted to May's downcast form.

"The file held the police report, hospital bill when we had him checked out afterward, and the restraining order," She continued.

"Are the other two hospital bills because of that too?" Tony asked softly.

"I wouldn't call them suicide attempts, it's just he...went a little too far in an attempt to calm down," May admitted. Pepper took a seat, wiping away her own forming tears. Happy leaning against the wall in an attempt to keep himself up.

Tony's face was set in stone, eyes hiding rage and a hard level of self-restraint. He wanted to scream and tear the world apart. He'd have never known Peter to do such a thing, it hurt to imagine it.

"The first time was a few months after Skip, the second time was only a week later," May informed, picking at her nails. Pushing back her cuticles.

"The night my husband was murdered, Peter had been stressed and we'd been scared that he'd been coming home late. Communication has never been his strong suit, so the two ended up arguing."

Tony held his breath, hands clutching tightly to one another as May continued.

"I mean, he...."She stuttered, "With his record, Peter not coming home was so damn frightening. I remember one day he was late the neighbor came to the door to ask...for sugar and all I could do was cry. I had thought it was someone coming to announce they'd found his body in a lake or something," May sobbed, hiding her face in her hands.

Pepper was quick to rub a soothing hand up and down her back, worried eyes scanning the woman.

Rhodey sensing his friend's distress placed a hand on his tense shoulder. Tony would have lashed out if it was anyone else but Rhodey, sighed in appreciation. Running a hand through his hair before doing the same with his goatee.

May fought through the tears, "In the argument, I guess it became too much for Peter, and he ran. Ben was quick to follow, but eventually, he lost Peter. And around two hours later a cop was bringing Peter home, covered in blood and telling me Ben had been shot. Peter held him as he bled out."

The room seating the group of adults reeked of despondency and self-loathing.

"And after that, I tried getting him help, but you all know Peter. He wouldn't ask for help, and he won't accept it. The Doctor said it's not uncommon for orphaned kids to feel that way. I mean he was left to us, and was too scared to even ask for new shoes when he'd wore holes into his current ones."

Tony's leg bounced, and the warm pressure of Rhodey's hand is what kept the rest of his body still.

"He was never a burden," She sobbed. The fear that Peter was dead believing he was nothing more than a nuisance to her settling in.

It settled in them all.

 


	6. Day three, Touch.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a very depressing look at Peter's journal.

"I'm glad he has you," May admits, looking to Tony. The room had long since cleared out and the two sat in silence. May never once speaking up when Tony fell into a silent fit of tears.

Tony nods, "It's an honor to have him in my life."

"I know you'll bring him home," May tells him, moving to sit next to the billionaire. Tony looked over at her with vulnerable eyes, he honestly didn't know if he could. But he'd try.

"Do you think he's alright?" She asked, eyes stern. She wasn't looking for optimism, as much as she wanted to believe Peter was alright. It wasn't likely.

Tony dreaded his next words, "I don't think he's dead, he wouldn't have gone so far just to kill him. Not right away," he added as an afterthought.

Flexing his fingers to wake up the cramped digits. May nodded, before rising to her feet.

"I'm going to bed, you'll wake me if...?" She questioned, and he quickly nodded. Though Tony was certain Peter wouldn't be returning tonight, no matter how much wished he would.

\---

A hand guided his legs, momentarily detached from the bond so his feet could be moved. Peter couldn't bring himself to kick, it wouldn't do much anyway. Even his normal strength fled into silence, his head would have fallen if it weren't for the pole keeping it straight.

He could hear the snipping of scissors and the barely audible squish of adhesive. Peter's left foot was placed in a tub filled with hot rocks.

Before he could jump from the pain, the restraint was snapped shut. Scratching his skin was a type 60 sandpaper. It rubbed and chaffed his skin as he struggled, pricking him as he lay still.

When he lifted his right foot, Peter whimpered in fear of what was to come. It was cool water filled with what Peter's mind supplied as minnows. Tiny little fish nipping at his feet. But with how bad his other foot burned, he wouldn't laugh no matter how ticklish it felt.

Again the restraint lay lined with the rough paper. Sawyers firm hand held the thin left wrist of the boy, as he slid the appendage into a baggie of glass shards, the right into a tub of ice water.

The day called for more maintenance on his part, but what brought results was worth it. The results so far amazed him, he wanted to go longer. But if each sense differed he'd never know.

He'd test the last remaining senses first. There was no reason for him to get ahead of himself, with the tech he'd been supplied;  Stark and the police wouldn't find him otherwise. The kid was young, it isn't as if he wouldn't live long enough for him to complete his research.

Or even longer if he could find a way.

\---

Sitting on an old rusty stool in his lab, Tony ran a hand through his greasy hair. He'd have to shower soon, but what if he missed a call?

What if he missed Peter calling for help, or crawling through the window?

Shaking the thought away Tony wandered to his room, turning the showers spray to a freezing spray. It pricked his now bare skin, keeping him awake.

He didn't want to feel good, not if Peter was currently suffering. The genius frowning as he felt the water grow warmer, FRIDAY quickly speaking up.

"I do not believe Peter would agree with you reverting back to your own self-destructive tendencies."

The horrid thoughts of the boy he'd come to love, wrist cut, hanging by a rope, seizing on the floor with pills scattered beside him.

He wouldn't know how Peter....he couldn't possibly ask. And if, no when, when they got Peter and the file back. He wouldn't overstep Peter's boundaries. He'd have a hard enough time when they brought him back. He wouldn't make it worse.

Tony sighed, washing his hair. Pulling at the thick strands, he watched as the soap fell. Washing up quickly before drying off, and slipping into soft sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"You should sleep," Pepper's voice called, looking at him from the doorway.

"Don't need to," he said simply, walking past her.

"Peter would want you to," She countered, and Tony knew she was right. But couldn't bring himself to listen as he made his way down to the lab before the suit assembled around him. Sleep could wait, Peter could not.

“He’d want to be found more.”

\---

Shuddering at the feeling of a feather gliding over his back, Peter whined at the freezing pins in needles in his hand, the other spiked with sharp stabs of pain.

Feet aching, and skin crying blood as it scraped harshly against the bonds.

Pain is what he chose to focus on. Not the hollowness in his chest. Not the insecurities of the harsh reality that he'd ruined the lives of all the people he cared for. And that he'd let down and disappointed the only people he thought could care for him. How could he be so foolish?

To think Tony, May, and Ben could love him.

He couldn't even love himself. How could they?

\---

Sawyer chuckled, leaving the boy to struggle as he walked into the back room. The boy's backpack's tucked in the corner, while his childhood photos and surveillance footage lined the walls. The file and journal laying open on his desk.

His favorite three passages bookmarked with pink sticky notes.

_"Skip's been getting a lot rougher lately. It's becoming more than I can handle. No matter how much I tell him I can't take what he's giving me, he keeps going. He continues to tell me it's what I deserve, and I should take what I can get. The rough treatment means **he cares** , I couldn't ask for anything more. But when I did good I'd be hugged, and I couldn't feel safer. Even when sometimes I think he's **my biggest danger**. I know I'm wrong though, Skip loves me. **Loves**. No ones ever loved me before, I just didn't think it'd be so rough. I always imagined it was like the movies. In a way it was.  I'd be nothing without Skip, I'd be nothing without his guidance. If it hurts it's real. He loves me. **He loves me.** Even if I'm worthless, he gives me worth. I know it's true, he wouldn't have promised if it weren't true."_

Sawyer smiled at the passage before turning to the next pink slip.

_"My hands. Coated with blood. Day and night. It's warm, so warm. But the skin beneath is so cold. It's my fault you're dead Ben, **I'm sorry**. You gave me so much even when you hated me, I know you took me in because I'm all that's left of your brother. I'm sorry I'm nothing like him , assumingly. Since I don't remember much of him, but if you loved him. It's obvious he was nothing like me. I never meant to be the grim reminder of their deaths. I never meant to be the staple of yours. **I deserve to die**. To lay on the pavement, cold and alone.  I'm worthless, no one would miss me. **I wouldn't miss me**. I don't blame you. I'm sorry May, I'm sorry I killed the man that made you smile. That made you love. I could only hope for the same myself, to have anyone who cared enough to love me. I'm sorry I burdened you for all these years, making you waste your money on a child you never planned on having.  I wish I could be what you wanted, these powers though. Just another burden to you. **I could have saved him** , I could have saved your marriage. **I'm sorry I'm alive** , I'm sorry I burden you."_

Brushing a gentle finger over the slightly scrambled writing. Littered with notes. Like the other pages, it held dried tear marks, dried blood staining the whole bottom of the book. It was obvious the blood had been there long before Ben's murder. The book's bottom had been bathed in blood, but the boy didn't stop using it.

Hense another few passages between those two, speaking of his increased surveillance and useless appointments for his self-depreciation and suicidal tendencies. Self-destructive behaviors. 

The last tab held the new addition to the boy's life. Tony Stark.

_"It had started directly after the fight in Berlin. No answers to my text, or calls. Me being an idiotic naive kid, actually believing I was important to them. I'm not. I fucked up. Badly. He listened. He may have been there, but did he really care? No, no he didn't. He was right not to believe in me. **I'm weak.** **Worthless**. And now that it's over. The rubble and blood won't leave me behind,  I never left the rubble. I should never have left my tomb, I deserved to die there. Liz would be living better than ever, May could go find one of her many suitors. Maybe even marry. She wouldn't have to bare the Parker name any longer. God knows what luck it brings. **I don't want to be here anymore** , **I don't deserve to be.**    ~~Maybe~~  Then I wouldn't be a burden to Mr. Stark, I wouldn't be a burden to anyone."_

Sawyer smiled fondly at the works, rising to warm the rocks and place ice in the boy's tubs. They had a long day ahead of them. 


	7. Day four, Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a little shorter I'm sorry. Also I'd like to send my love to Las Vegas, I hope everyone of you and your family are alright.

With his head already tipped back, Peter welcomed the sudden release of his mouth. His jaw falling open, it aching in protest at the action.

His skin radiated heat, and the small shards of glass had been plucked from his hand, while his appendages were wrapped. The tingling of the gauze burned the sensitive skin. And the raw skin of his shins and arms, having been so mercilessly impaired at the hands of paper stung.

They now were wrapped in Bactine covered gauze, holding the wounded skin. The Vibranium holding tightly, adding a cool tone to the warm gauze.

He wanted to see what was before him, wanted to hear the possible footsteps surrounding him. But as always it was blocked from his senses, they wouldn't be able to handle the sights and sounds anyway.

A drop hit his tongue and his body jolted. A bitter tang stuck to his taste buds. The acid in his stomach turned, and with painful heaves. The phlegm and sickness rose from his dry throat, the burning acid in his stomach fell from his chin. A harsh spray washed it away, and his sensitive skin cried at the feeling. He'd been growing weaker, and his head had been growing heavy.

The bitter taste in his throat and mouth disgusted him. Goosebumps lined his arms, and the hairs on his arms stood. The chattering of his teeth led him to tremble.

A solid was placed beneath his tongue, it was unbearably sweet. The mix of the bitter Cucurbitacin and sweet Thaumatin blended in a crash. His head now impossibly light, and heavy all at once.

The tingling of vomit only added to the assault on his mouth. He wouldn't be to taste for weeks. Peter almost cared, he really didn't think he'd live that long anyway.

The sudden addition of Epicak and Vanilla extract forced down his throat only added to his misery.

\---

He hadn't stopped his constant patrols, the horrifying thought that he could have flown over the boy's head dozens of times without his knowledge hurt.

He could be screaming his name, screaming for him to save him. He was supposed to protect the boy, it was he who'd promised to keep him safe.

And now he couldn't even find him. How would he protect him? He was missing, missing and in peril. So frightened and possibly hurt.

He could be writhing in agony, and Tony couldn't put it past himself in believing that even if he saved Peter, he might not be able to save Peter from himself.

He knew the information on Peter would be used against the boy. And two accounts of....failed attempts. There was no certainty he wouldn't revert back to those tendencies. And by god, if he had to keep Peter in his line of sight until he was alright. He would.

His heart quickly thumped faster, almost painfully. Tony heeded the warning to land, he couldn't lose himself now. Anxieties and possible heart attacks were no longer allowed, not while Peter suffered.

He would not die while Peter lived in fear.

His child deserved to live without injury, no matter how unlikely.

\---

He'd lost track of so many things, any and all reassuring displays brought to him. How many times he'd thrown up, and how many times he'd seized in a number of days. The day's that he couldn't count either.

It was hard to resist his bodies feverish beckoning, the call to slumber. It was a gift supplied to him. The overwhelming taste held little power in his sleep.

Day four had held little results. And Sawyer cursed in disappointment, slapping the pale face in his anger. The sickly precipitated skin held no reaction. Just a red outline of his hand, which began to bruise into a light blue and purple mosaic across his cheek in a matter of hours.

Lip bleeding as a result of the smack knocking the tissue into sturdy teeth. Teeth that'd been molded into straight rows with years of braces and retainers.

Sawyer only wished he could have had his own braces put on as young as the child before him. What a way to ruin your high school photos.

  
Shaking his head, Sawyer brushed off the sympathy. He wasn't here for that.

\---

Tony returned home late that night, tears held tightly to his mind. He couldn't calm down, and it was growing warm. FRIDAY seemed to have picked up on his distress. Alerted the others. Knowing the five days without sleep and malnutrition caught up with him.

Oh god had they been feeding Peter? He needed far more nourishment than any normal human. He'd starve faster, shut down faster, he'd grow weak and so very sick.

Tony couldn't stop his hyperventilating, not realizing Rhodey and Happy were holding him down. Injecting his neck with sedatives as he sobbed and screamed.

"Peter! Where is he? Stop! He needs me. My baby needs me. He's probably scared, no, please. Let me help him! Please."

His calls were soon drowned out by the black abyss. Peter's name dying on his lips.

May and Pepper watched in the doorway, tears in their eyes as Tony was taken away. Maybe tomorrow, or the day after. He'd bring Peter home.


	8. Day Five, Scent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BABY PETER AHHHHHHHH YASS DADDY TONY

A warm putrid scent burned his nostrils, it was rotting. And the flickering of flames caught his highly sensitive ears. Even in their confinement, they picked up the flittering whisp of fire.

The man was burning something, possibly someone. And the smell only added to a nauseating headache accumulating in the back of his eyes.

An iron tinge is also there, lining the floor. It's an instantly recognizable smell, blood. Instinctively he tried to back away, believing it was Ben's blood once again. It wasn't a logical presumption, not in any way. But logic had long since forgotten Peter Parker, they'd once been friends. But now they were nothing more than two strangers passing on the street with a mere brush of the shoulders.

A powerful fan blew a new odor there way, his head wished to fall. The acid in his stomach no longer came, no matter how much the stagnant water beckoned it.

Sawyer gagged through his mask, looking at the sleeves covering his black boots. Lined with the pig's blood, and decaying flesh of the dogs. Filthy strays he'd picked up and slit their throats. Knowing the smell of burning flesh was the worst of all, he burned them in the corners of the room. Lining several buckets of stagnant water near each pile.

What worried Sawyer was how weak the boy had become. Skin deathly pale, lips tinted the slightest bit blue. But he was burning up, he could send him back.

Stark would care for him, dismay at how damaged and lost the Spider had become. And he'd nurture the boy until he was healthy once more. And then he'd take him once more, and sell the child for all that he's worth.

\---

Pulling himself from the bed, Tony huffed. Almost surprised they hadn't restrained him. They wouldn't dare try, drugging him was far enough. But Tony knew it had been the right thing to do, no matter how much he disagreed.

May looked over at him wearily, a soft smile on her face.

"When you said you wouldn't sleep till he was found. I didn't quite think you meant it."

"I did," he whispered, looking down at her.

"I'm sorry," May apologized, startling the inventor, she didn't let him reply. Watching his worry and shocked face.

"I was never a fan of you, I thought," she hiccuped, "I thought you were a heartless bastard. I really did. Until....what you called him the other night. He's my baby too."

Tony felt the tears in his own eyes fall, "I never wanted a family, not after...and he came along. And I see so much of myself, and so many things I wished I would have been in him. My father never...I just wish I could be for him what I never had... because I love him so much."

"He's just as much yours as he is mine, and this job is dangerous. My head wound is just another sign of that. If...something...anything were to happen. Please take him, and never let him go, okay?"

Speechless he nodded, watching as she stood and hugged him. Her six inches shorter without the help of her shoes rested her forehead against his chest. Head cast down.

The two parted easily, a new level of respect between the two of them. May holding his forearms, the two taken off guard as Pepper, Happy and Rhodey burst in.

Rhodey gave a nod and the two knew Peter had been found.

\---

Displeased the final day of experimentation would be cut short like that last, a firm smack hit the bruised cheek. Sawyer had a phone call to make. The vigilante needed to be cared for, something he wasn't quite willing to do so on his own. But he'd soon bring the boy back, run the test again while he was pure of health.

He had all the time in the world.

With the dial of Happy Hogan's number, he left a message.

_"Mr. Hogan it's nice to chat. I have here something of yours, namely Mr. Stark's and Mrs. Parker's. Do tell her I apologize for her head. And now that I give you back Mr. Parker, I'll have you know I'll be back. I'm not quite done with him yet."_

\---

May and Happy stayed behind, it being far too dangerous for them to accompany them. Rhodey and Tony flew out. Landing heavily only inches away from the industrial building. It'd been emptied only months ago, bought by a nameless buyer FRIDAY explained.

And it didn't sit well with Tony at all.

He shot the door opened, the first room he'd found was filled with the boy's photos. And Tony was sickened, and Rhodey agreed instantly.

Tony hadn't been aware he'd voiced his opinion, or maybe Rhodey just knew him too well. A hard scent hit their noses, even though their metal faceplates.

Tony followed it quickly, scared of what lay behind the door. He opened it tentatively, eyes landing on the boy before him. The pleasant child, trembling and pale. Bound, surrounded by that horrid smell. Bound in an easily recognizable metal, holding his mouth and limbs down.

The armor fell away, and he rushed over. The body jolting from his touch as he tried to remove the band from his eyes. Frowning at the development, Tony gazed over at the chaos and equipment around them. Surprised he hadn't thrown it up, but by then he had shut it all down. All too aware of what had happened.

Tony backed away slightly, signaling for the suit to come forward. It carefully removing the bonds as Peter flinched at the mere touch.

Peter didn't know if he was grateful or frightened to hear the slightly offbeat heart.

His fatigued state didn't allow the thought to continue, as the world was opened to him again in a flash of light. He fell into waiting arms, body trembling at the new input his body was receiving. 

Tony cried, holding his baby tight.


	9. "Lose your mind and come to your senses"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HEHE chap title is a quote by Frederick Salomon Perls
> 
> YAY PETER AND TONY ARE REUNITEDDDDD

It had been a blur; Pulling the warm body into his arms. Lifting him from the confines of torture, and as carefully as possible, removing him from the situation.

The child was horrendously malnourished, ill, and Tony didn't dare say dying. It hadn't gone that far, and Tony couldn't imagine if it had.

May looked down at the unconscious boy, blissfully lost in sleep. An induced sleep. Tony had been frightened, especially now that a week had passed and the inert body still flinched at the slightest of noise and light pouring in.

A softer and better sleeping mask was placed over his eyes, and the lights held themselves at their lowest setting. Instead of the sick red mock headphones that whoever had placed on the boy's head. Rested ear plugs, snugly hidden behind black reinforced noise-canceling headphones.

May and Tony watched the shuttering rise and fall of Peter's chest. He'd sometimes cough in his induced state, and it frightened the two adults watching. May wished to reach out, to trace the now faded bruise on her nephew's cheek.

The doctor's advised that the mere touch of the blanket on his skin and the new bandages lining his cuts was enough stimulation as is.

The two being in the room was a deadly amount of added stimulation. Unneeded stimulation. The only thing more dangerous was telling them to leave.

"I want him in his own room," Tony told the doctors softly. May nodded at the idea, they didn't want him to wake up feeling frightened and uncomfortable.

"We'll get him there," they assured, and Tony nodded in agreement. Two medics bringing in a gurney, before gently placing their hands beneath his head and shoulders. While the other looped a hand under his knees and then his feet.

They followed as he was wheeled to his room, they'd stopped feeding the drug into his veins that would keep him asleep when he'd been wheeled out.

It was a not-all-welcome change, they wished to see him moving and smiling, but he was so incredibly sick. Tony wanted to keep him asleep until he truly felt better, and his senses had dimmed enough where he wouldn't be so hurt the minute he woke.

But he'd been asleep long enough, and recovery time would be needed. He'd have plenty of time to rest during then, hopefully on his own terms.

Small whimpers escaped the boy's throat, the thicker blankets causing a new sensation to brush his soft skin.

"I'm sorry baby," Tony whispered without a thought, and May ran a gentle hand down his arm in assurance.

The room was nearly pitch black, the grey shadows are all that they could see. The room carefully blacked out by the special curtains Tony had ordered the second he found out how the boy's senses had been so crudely exploited.

"I think it's time we leave him alone," May whispered, and Tony whispered back.

"What if he wakes up alone? And think he'd never left that damn place."

"I'm sure FRIDAY will alert us," she replied. The door peaked opened, and they crept out. Leaving the child to sleep in darkness.

\---

Waking quietly in the steep twilight, Peter could feel the fold of his now softer blindfold. A familiar smell of grease and cologne clung to it. It left him confused.

 _Tony Stark did not care for him._ He no longer believed he possibly could. Why was he here? In a room that reeked of him, his Aunt and Tony. _No one cared for him, certainly not them._ He wished they could, wished with all his heart they could.

But the bar was so impossibly high, so far up he would have died from lack of oxygen on his way up.

He didn't want the plush blankets, and he knew where he was. Knew where the backup web shooters lay in the dresser beside the bed. He reached for them, lifting the mask from his face. Not at all surprised he could see in the darkness, senses attuned, and even then it still felt all too bright.

Opening the drawer he snapped the devices onto his bandaged wrist. The sensation making his skin crawl for what seemed like hours when it'd only been seconds.

With a curling of his fingers, he shot toward the roof, gracefully hanging upside down. And the change made it easier to breathe, to calm down.

"Goodmorning Peter," FRIDAY called in her lightest setting. Peter knew precautions had been made to help his auditory input. But he still heard the calming female voice as if she was a mere inch away from his ear.

"Morning FRIDAY," his hoarse voice replied, then leaving them in a slim silence, interrupted by the door opening. The billionaire stepping in.

Tony could barely see the child's outline and was almost startled.

"Hi, Peter," He whispered to the little spider. The child didn't answer, unsure if it was the right thing to do. He ached to flee from the man's view and yet craved his comfort.

Unable to stop himself, even when he was so incredibly weak. Launched himself at the man he'd come to see as his father, even if Peter _knew_ he'd never be seen as his son. The sensation hurt but he couldn't bring himself to let go.

Tony clutched back, moving to make sure no harm came to Peter. He welcomed the hurt of the child's jarring hug, welcomed the boy's greeting because he'd wanted to hold the boy for days. Wanting to coddle and protect the child from the _monster_ who promised to take Peter back.

Tony growled at the thought of _whoever_ trying to take Peter away from him after this. Mind already wandering to the dark hurt and weapons he'd once made to destroy people. Articulating what horror would come to _nameless_ under his hand.

The teen sobbed into his shoulder, sputtering nonsense that not in anyway resembled words. Causing him to sit up, Peter now sitting in his lap. Causing Peter's floodgates to open and he scrambled away from Tony who let go in fear he'd hurt the child.

He barely made out Peter crawling up the wall and high into the corner, his small chest heaving before nearly falling from the ceiling in a state of fatigue.

"Tony," he whispered softly and gave an apology. Tony carefully reached up in the darkness, Peter seeing his arms before he dropped down into them. Letting the billionaire wrap strong arms around his waist, and gently pull him into a hug.

"You have nothing to be sorry for baby," Tony told the child, tears slipping down his cheeks. Dazed now that Peter had finally called him by his name. He cradled the boy's head to his chest. Hiding his own tears, knowing Peter would need him to be strong.

The brushing of the boy's gauze and wrapping tickled the inventor's skin as Peter clung tighter.

Tony didn't believe such malice would return to his weary heart, but he'd been wrong before. Not often, but it did happen.

The man who hurt his son would pay, and Peter's weak coughs against his chest only fueled the burning flame in his heart. The flame that called for destruction, and justice in it's cruelest form. 


	10. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TONY'S REVENGE

A hunch is what took Tony from his thoughts, Peter gripping him in his unconscious state. Something in Tony told him to go, go to where Peter had been so crudely bound and tortured.

May had come in not long ago, silently watching the two in the dark.

"I need to go," he told her, offering Peter's unconscious form. She moved forward, taking Peter in his arms as gently as possible. Small whimpers escaped his pale lips, skin still clammy as it fell onto his Aunt's collar-bone.

Tony's body moved of its own accord towards the door, and down to the lab. Before his suit assembled around him, swallowing him whole.

The flight didn't take long, and Tony absolutely dreaded that he was right. He'd flown over the boy's head seemingly hundreds of times, and came up with nothing. He should have saved him. But no, Peter had been returned the moment he'd become faulty and was sent back only to be fixed. With the expectation, he'd take the child back.

Dropping from the sky, he landed. The door sealed shut from their previous visit, they had yet to clean out the place. Tony wanted to detox the items first, get out the sickening stench and lingering glances of the man.

The armor fell from his skin, retracting into a single fingerless glove. The scent lingered, and the decaying dog corpses. Floor lined with blood, and the stagnant water turning his stomach.

The Avenger's shoulders tensed at the sight of the door leading to the study cracked open. Sitting at the desk, the blood-stained journal in his hands was the man with brown hair.

Tony's arm shot out, anger coursing through his veins.

"It's nice seeing you Mr. Stark," He said calmly, and Tony's normally still hand shook.

"How'd you do it? Why?" Tony asked, voice gruff with rage.

Sawyer didn't bother with an answer, flipping to the third pink tab, before he read a few choice words aloud.

_"I don't want to be here anymore, I don't deserve to be. Maybe then I wouldn't be a burden to Mr. Stark, I wouldn't burden anyone."_

Tony's throat tightened, his temples throbbing. His legs strode powerfully toward the man before yanking him from the chair. Journal clattering on the floor, as Tony's powerful hands held the man's throat.

But Sawyer was prepared, a weapon he knew Spider-Man would be familiar with lined his arm. With a volt, Tony was sent back. He bared his teeth and growled in turn, rage is what kept him going as he shot forward, using the gauntlet when he punched Sawyer in the head, it wasn't enough to kill him. No, the open door with a view of the chair in the spotlight gave Tony an idea.

His metal hand wrapped tightly around the man's throat, lifting him a foot off the ground before striding toward the chair and locking the semi-conscious man in.

Sawyer only grinned, "What will Peter think if you kill me?"

Tony laughed maliciously, in turn, walking to the table and picking up the devices used on his child. Inspecting the headphones, he read the SD card before pulling out a chip of his own. High decibel sounds. Before plugging it in and settling it on the man's head, before sliding the damn eyepiece on.

"I'm not sure if this will kill you, starvation might first. I'm really not sure, did a few scans and I know he had a few seizures, maybe that'll kill you. Try not to bite your tongue, you wouldn't want to bite it off. Anyways, I'll spend the rest of my life proving how much I care for him. Killing someone isn't a fraction of what I'd do for him," No emotion lay in the statement, it was his business tone. As if he made a deal he knew would only benefit him, leaving the others in the dust.

No thought came to him as he flipped the devices on, and walked back to the little room. Picking up the file, then the journal from the floor.

He held it close to his chest, vaguely remembering when May had done the same.

\---

Peter woke in new arms, the smell of his Aunt wafting in his nose. He carefully detangled himself, as she looked down at the child.

"I'm sorry," he apologized weakly, the horrid thought that'd he'd bothered her bombarding his thoughts.

"Why?" She asked suddenly, then apologizing quietly when he winced at her volume. He only continued to scoot away, the brush of the bed became too much as he crawled up the walls and back into the corner.

The corner gave his weak body more stability, though he couldn't hold on for long. He could feel himself growing weaker, and all he wanted to do was sleep.

Peter didn't know when tears started to fall from his eyes, as he curled up against the ceiling. Struggling to hold on, shivers racking his body.

"Why are you apologizing Peter?" May asked softly, looking up at the black blob on the ceiling.

"I ruined your life," He admitted, eyes half-lidded. His hand fell into a fist before pressing hard against his sweaty temples.

"No," She whispered strongly, tears threatening to fall.

"Yes I did," he cried, "I could have saved Ben, you could have been happy."

Peter shook with heart-shattering sobs and tremors, "You didn't want me, and then..." he hiccuped, "I was dropped off like...like."

"Peter you're mine, it doesn't matter. I've loved you from the start, no matter if I wasn't expecting you," Peter only shook his head no, slightly slipping from the ceiling. Desperately trying to cling, labored breaths escaping him as he sobbed. Hiding his face in the crease of the wall, even if he knew she couldn't see him.

"All I do is bother you," he wept, struggling to breathe.

"You don't bother me, or anyone," May insisted, Tony heard as he nudged open the door. Eyes dimly making out the writhing figure on the ceiling.

May looked back at the easily recognizable figure in the dark, his hair really gave him away.

"Yes I do, both of you," Peter continued, and Tony's forever calculating mind could see him slipping.

Unconsciously he lifted his arms, cooing slightly, "No Peter, come down please."

Tony hated how the passage was true, hated how the sweet boy in front of him didn't believe he was loved or even deserving of it. He also hated how it was another thing he knew he shared with the child.

"No, all I ever did was hurt you two," Peter shuddered, body slipping. Tony more than ready to catch him, and did so. Peter's headphones clattering to the floor, and he covered his ears quickly, the earplugs simply not enough.

May was quick to find them on the ground, and help settle them back on his ears as Peter lay unconscious in his mentor's arms.

"Remind me to put some bars, and nooks in the ceiling," he whispered to her. And in the dark, she gave a weak smile.

"I think he'd like that," she admitted, as they sauntered over to Peter's bed. Placing him down softly.

"I'll get some IV's set, he's still too sick. I asked Helen if she could find something for it. She couldn't find much, but hopefully, it'll be enough to where he won't fall."

The eldest Parker nodded, as they left Peter on his own. Dreading that Peter saw himself as nothing more than a burden when he was the most important thing in their lives.


	11. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves I just wanted to say I won't be home tomorrow so I don't think I'll be able to update! I apologize!
> 
> 10 points to whoever can tell me all the psychologist I used for this chapter! Don't own any of the characters and don't expect any of you to know who Clock is but whoever knows is amazing!

It'd been May who'd tracked his eating, it was never much. His stomach turned at even the littlest of pieces. That didn't stop her from continuing to coddle, pressing soft kisses into his hair. The lights higher to allow the two adults to see, Peter's head resting on her shoulder. The blindfold resting gently over his eyes.

Tony had installed the bars in the middle of the night. The nooks he'd install later. When Peter wouldn't be as affected by the whirr of a saw ripping out chunks of the wall.

The bars themselves were stuck with adhesive, low enough so he could stand on them, and high enough to where he could hang freely.

The bars were strategically placed, above the bed, futon and the reclining chair. Tony knew Peter would most likely always land on his feet, but he still didn't want to risk the fall. Especially in Peter's weakened state.

May's eyes were deep and sad, Tony was sure he shared the look. And Tony only had himself to blame, if he'd only showed his appreciation for the kid he wouldn't have believed the man so easily. And Tony knew Peter hadn't been forced to believe such a thing, he'd already believed it; The man only ensuring it.

IV's were set in his pale wrist, the tubes covered by the new gauze. Deep enough in where it wouldn't be easily torn from his arm when he made his way up to the bar.

Luckily Peter's perception of touch had gotten better, still a little sensitive and sometimes incredibly overwhelming, but it'd been the most manageable. His smell wasn't too terrible, some scents were stronger than what they normally were. And Peter couldn't even begin to think about removing the headphones or the mask now that the lights were on.

Not long after, the two adults left Peter to rest. The lights cut out. Peter's weary head lifted, before pushing up the mask and carefully crawling up the wall with little struggle. Before hooking his legs over the bars, though Peter saw them more as beams. They were square shaped, the edges rounded so it wouldn't poke or scrape him.

They were two inches wide, enough for him to sit easily, as he carefully hung over his bed. Hand's reaching up to hold the bar, IV's hanging lowly.

He yawned tiredly, barely noticing when he fell asleep.

\---

Tony stepped in, May having retired to the guest bedroom. Watching the lanky body hang upside down. Almost smirking at how he knew the child was asleep.

He checked the IV carefully, making sure it hadn't come loose. Only for Peter to weakly grab his wrist, before slipping down into Tony's arms.

Yawning into the man's throat, and clinging to his broad shoulders.

"Hey, buddy," He whispered softly, and Peter mumbled quietly in response.

Tony could hear what it was, apologies, and despondent woes. His cheek rested gently on Peter's hair, soft whispers escaping as he tried to debunk those thoughts.

"It's okay, you've done nothing wrong. We love you, it's okay."

He wasn't met with a response and set him down on the bed. Peter let go before crawling past his perch and Tony quickly went forward.

"Peter the IV," he called. But he'd already pulled it out on his fleeting journey away from the man.

Peter could see the new blood on his bandages, and Tony watched worriedly.

"Peter please, you need the medicine," His voice struggling to keep quiet.

Peter's darker thoughts were creeping up on him, _"I don't want to be here."_

And the man of iron's heart broke before he abruptly exited the room. Returning a minute after with his paperwork, before placing it on the desk. The corner of his eye watching the hanging IV as it had hooked over the top of the bar.

He sat and the lights lit up by the smallest degree, and Peter kept his head down, thankful that the once intense burn was now easier to manage. And he blinked slowly, looking down at the figure at his desk. Remembering Tony's soft assurances, before slipping down and looking at his mentor.

Tony didn't do much in response, only offer his free hand while he continued to glide his pen across the paper. Peter took it, letting Tony curl his arm inward so Peter was pulled closer. Now laying in his lap while the man worked on his reports and a few other things Pepper had been begging him to do.

Tony reached over, adjusting the IV and letting Peter rest. His head on his shoulder. He slipped down the mask as the boy's eyes were falling shut, and immediately began looking for a psychologist.

The recommended list was over ten pages long, and Tony still wasn't sure there was many he could trust. One had even stolen a Lamborghini with her clown boyfriend, a definite no. Though the name Harley did bring back a few memories.

The name was quickly checked off the list as he scrolled through more. _Crane_ only handled the mentally severe, _Lecter_ gave him the creeps, _Crowe_ had passed away, it's not like he could help in the afterlife, and _Clock_ was currently booked till next year.

A soft knock came from the door, and May stepped in, her hair fluffed from sleep.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked softly, as she crawled onto the boy's bed.

"I just wanted to make sure he was safe, I guess I had nothing to worry about," she whispered, the low light illuminating her face.

"I'm trying to find a decent psychologist if you..."

"Yes please," she cut him off.

"Haven't had much luck yet," he admitted.

"We'll have to find someone he's comfortable with," She told him softly, and he vehemently agreed. Peter deserved every right to be comfortable.

"We'll let him decide," Tony agreed, May smiling sadly.

"He won't agree at first, we'll have to ease him into the idea."

"I think we need to up the surveillance, one of us staying with him. At all times," Tony admitted, hand absently running through soft brown locks of hair.

"Did he...."

"He said he didn't want to be here anymore."

She sighed, wiping away tears.

"We'll watch him. You were gone awhile the other day," she prompted.

"I found the man who did this to Peter," he admitted softly, and their eyes locked. Millions of questions in her eyes. Her voice the essence of calm and stability.

"Did you kill him?"

"No, I left him in tied up, with the same equipment used on Peter. I don't know if he's dead, but he's suffering," his voice quiet almost guilty. Not for what he'd done, but for not asking what May had wanted to be done with him.

Her response eased his tension.

"Good."


	12. Fat cats and sandwiches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to @Polgara6 and 10 points! They found out who all the psychologist were, woo! Congrats.
> 
> I feel like I had something else to say but IDK what >~<

Lightly swinging back and forth, Peter's eyes were adjusting to the soft lights. Tony smiled sadly at the improvement, he knew for every step forward you took two steps back.

Peter couldn't bring himself to look at Tony or his Aunt. Refusing to eat whatever they brought him, leading to more IVs.

"You sure you don't want to eat?" May had asked, a slight shake of the head was answer enough. He wouldn't.

Tony's face carefully blank as he sat on the edge of the bed, facing away as Peter hung a foot or two behind him, several feet above the bed.

May watched from the reclining chair, sitting as straight as a rod. Legs crossed over another. The boy stiffened, fretting at the close proximity.

Anxieties creeping up on him. Only to deplete when his mentor lifted his hand in the air, slightly towards him. Peter took his hand carefully, his bandaged hand laying softly in Tony's calloused one.

May's looked adoringly at the two. Silently wishing Peter had taken her hand, but she'd been far too scared of rejection to offer it.

But Tony Stark always got what he wanted, and May had the slightest feeling that Stark had the same fear of rejection. Even stronger than her own.

"Why don't you want to be here Peter?" He prodded, thumb running gently over the back of Peter's hand.

"You'd be better without me," A timid voice replied.

Tony's hand squeezed a little then, "No I wouldn't, and your Aunt wouldn't either."

"But-"

"I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, and I called for your help without realizing how attached I'd become. The second you went flying my heart stopped, and I knew I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if you'd gotten hurt. And then you look at me with your big eyes and I forget all the things I've done. If you don't see me the way the world does, I don't either," The hero admitted, looking back at the young boy.

Teary eyes looked back at him, and Peter simply nodded. Swinging their hands lightly to cheer the child up.

"What about all I've been..." Peter stuttered.

"You don't think of me any less because of the things I've been through, and I don't value you any less for what you've been through. You're one of the strongest people I know Peter," The billionaire claimed, a soft smile lighting his face.

Tears fell from Peter's eyes, and he slowly pulled himself up so he wouldn't rip the IVs out when he fell. Plopping onto the bed, Peter kept his head down.

"I think I'm ready to eat now," Peter confessed and Tony's smile only brightened.

"Anything you have in mind?" He asked before May stood.

"Your favorite sandwich, right?"

Peter looked up at her, "It's too far. I'll..."

"You have Iron-Man, I'm sure he wouldn't mind getting you Mr. Delmars," May smiled, looking at the inventor.

"Not at all, just text me the order," Tony smiled, putting a hand on Peter's shoulder.

"I'll be back kiddo."

\---

It was quite a sight to see Iron-Man in a small deli, asking for a sandwich squished real flat with pickles.

Mr. Delmar looked a little surprised at the order, especially so when Tony had said it was for his kid.

Even the fat cat on the counter had looked up at his presence, the feline had missed the constant petting provided by the teen and looked to everyone for the same treatment. Earning a gentle pat from the billionaire before laying back down.

Tony gave his thanks before stepping out and flying off.

\---

May's arms encased Peter's body, as he snuggled into her arms.

"You're all I have left, and I couldn't ask for anyone else. I love you with all my heart Peter, we'll get through this, we always do."

Peter nodded, letting her wipe all his tears away.

"I larb you," Peter smiled, laughing lightly. And she let her tears fall, crying into his hair. The biggest smile on her face.

"I larb you too."

\---

Tony knocked gently, looking at the little family laughing. She looked up at him, and Peter smiled into her shoulder.

"I think that cat misses you," He smiled, handing the little family the bag.

"Thank you," Peter sniffled, looking happier than he had in days.

"Anytime."

\---

"We were thinking of getting you someone to talk to," May informed, and Peter's eyes widened in worry.

She ran a hand through his hair, and Peter hugged himself. Trying to make himself smaller, as they gazed at him.

"It's alright when you're ready kiddo," Tony told him, knowing Peter would feel better with the option. Even if he planned on talking with Peter himself if it made him more comfortable.

Peter nodded, taking smaller bites of his sandwich, the adults trying to not pay as much attention to Peter as needed. Noticing he slowed when they watched.

He ate a good amount, one half of the sandwich, which was more than they could have asked for.

  
The child yawned, leaning back on the bed before pulling the blanket over himself.

"Tired?" May asked and he nodded. Nuzzling his face into the pillow, adjusting the headphones when they had slipped.

"Alright, get some sleep okay."

He nodded, and May pressed a kiss to his head, before looking over at the billionaire.

"I'll pick up, you can go to bed too," he mouthed, and she gave an appreciative smile. Giving Peter's head one last kiss, as his eyes fluttered shut and fell asleep.

Tony stood as she exited, picking up the meal and shoving it into the bag, he could save the other half of Peter's sandwich for when he was hungry tomorrow.

And without thinking Tony leaned down, kissing Peter's head and running a hand through his hair.

"Goodnight kiddo."

 

 

 


	13. Things are looking up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP I CANT BELIEVE NOW WE WILL HAVE TWO CHAPTERS LEFT AND THIS STORY WILL BE DONE!!!!!!!! THEN I CAN GET ALL THE SHORT STORIES I'VE BEEN PLANNING STARTED

Lifting himself from the bed, he crawled up the wall and onto the bar above. The sun wasn't out yet, and Peter slipped off his headphones. The still night emitting little to no sound.

"FRIDAY?" He spoke up, her voice replying quickly.

"Yes, Peter?" Peter winced at her voice, taking in a few breaths and continuing on.

"Sorry, I..." Peter whispered, unsure of why he called upon the AI. Maybe it was because her voice brought a comforting familiarity in the stillness. He wasn't sure, but his own AI came to mind. He missed her.

"Is it possible I could talk to Karen?"

"Hello, Peter I've missed you," Karen greeted, and Peter smiled at the voice.

"I've missed you too Karen," He hummed sincerely. Earning a hum back from the ceiling.

The AI knew her young charge wanted to speak, possibly lonely in his self-inflicted confinement.

"How are you feeling?" The AI asked, and Peter looked down.

"Not sure," He answered honestly, biting his nails.

"That's understandable," Karen replied, "Would you like to listen to the messages and voicemails left by your friends?"

Peter's body jolted at the thought of the classes he'd missed, and the friends he hadn't spoken to in weeks. So much so, he fell from his perch and onto the bed, before bouncing off onto the floor.

"Yes!" Peter spoke up, body trembling as he pulled himself up from the floor. Heart hammering and nausea suddenly overtaking his weary head. Luckily he hadn't hurt himself, only winding himself for a second.

He fell back on the bed, trying to catch his breath. The AI hesitating to call Mr. Stark.

"Please let me hear them," he whispered hoarsely.

"You have Forty-Seven missed calls and One hundred and Thirty-Seven missed messages from Ned Leeds, Thirteen missed calls and Twenty-Four missed messages from MJ. Three missed calls from Ellie Warhead."

Peter sighed at that, a little surprised there wasn't more from Ned.

"Any voicemails?"

"Forty-Seven from Ned," Peter honestly knew he'd leave one for every call.

"Six from MJ, and One from Ellie warhead."

"Can you sum up Ned's?" He asked not in the mood to listen to them all.

"Most of which ask where you are, and that you've missed several Spanish quizzes. And if you were out saving the world with Mr. Stark, noting when you get back. You two must have a Star Wars marathon."

Sounds about right. He'd call Ned soon, plan their marathon. Maybe even get some new Lego sets for them to do, now that they've finished the death star.

He'd been doing so well, and then he'd been kidnapped. He'd have to start all over again. He wasn't sure he could do it again. His throat tightened, eyes watering before he wiped it away. Wishing these teal scrubs had sleeves or a hood to hide in.

"And MJ's?"

"She seems concerned about where you are and is upset you've been missing decathlon," Karen supplied.

"Did she kick me off the team?" he asked scarcely.

"In one of her text, she says when you return you'll have your spot back, and return whenever you can."

Nodding at the statement he smiled, "Play Ellie's voicemail."

"Hey, webhead, you missed our party. Douche pool ended up swinging on the chandelier and breaking it. Colossus wasn't happy, ended up throwing him out the window. So yeah webhead when you get around to it, come over."

"Will do," he smiled, almost as if she really heard him. He and Ellie got along well, her being one of the only other teenage heroes he's worked with.

Their movie nights happened just as frequently as his and Ned's.

He'd see them again, as soon as he could. And he'd make it up to them.

"Play all messages," he spoke up, letting Karen's voice lull him to sleep.

\---

A soft knock on the door woke him for the second time, Tony held a tray. Stacked with French Toast, eggs, bacon, and sausage.

"Morning kiddo," he called, as Peter sat up. Tony's eyes widening when he saw the lack of headphones. His voice fell quiet.

"Your ears."

"They're ringing a bit, but I don't think I need them as much anymore," Peter replied just as quiet.

A relieved and hopeful smile lit up his face, and he stepped forward. Placing the tray on the bedside table.

"You think you can eat?"

Peter nodded taking the tray, as Tony laid back in the recliner.

"I was thinking of getting you one of those hanging chairs, like a mattress in your hutches and..."

"Thank you, Mr. Stark."

"You're welcome."

"Um, where's May?" Peter asked as if he wasn't sure he could.

"Her and Happy headed back to your apartment, clean the place up a bit. Get your things back where they belong," Tony explained.

"Okay, can I call a few of my friends?"

Tony looked startled at the question before nodding and standing quickly.

"Yeah, I'll leave you to it. Enjoy your breakfast," he smiled, and Peter was sure it was disappointed. The Billionaire quickly left the room and Peter regretted sending him away. Even if he hadn't meant too.

"FRIDAY can you call Ned?"

"Calling Ned," she replied, copying Siri.

"Dude! Where have you been? You know how much stuff you missed? Flash has practically turned into Narcissus! Put him in front of a pond and he'll be looking at his reflection for the rest of his life! What happened? Did you get hurt, or did you go on a mission? With Iron-Man!"

"Ned, Ned calm down. I'll explain," He told him quickly, cutting his toast. Ned went silent, the sound of Peter's weak voice shutting him up.

"I got kidnapped, and I'm on recovery," he told his friend quietly, finding the admission shameful in a way.

The line was quiet for a few seconds before he was asked, "Are you okay?"

"I will be," was his short reply.

"If you want to talk ..."

"Why don't you just fill me in on what's been going on."

Ned did.


	14. Road to recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe we've almost finished this story, one more chapter to go!!!!!!!!!

Pepper looked over at her fiancé, hugging the teen in his side as May and Rhodey shuffled through the kitchen. She knew the smile on his face was well-earned. The laughing boy in the crook of his arm confirmed it.

The inventor's hand crept up into the boy's hair as he pulled him closer, Peter laughing in his shoulder. Tony Stark had always wanted to be what his father wanted, and Pepper knew it may still hold true in the slightest. Thankfully he'd never be, with Peter. Being anyone but himself was untrue. Impossible. Unimaginable.

Peter was the boy Tony had wanted to be. Unable to be as cruel and uncaring as Howard, he stayed himself. 

Rhodey carefully watched May's cooking, it wasn't news that she wasn't the best in the kitchen. And Rhodey the perfectionist was more than happy to help.

\---

Peter sat on his bed, while Ned, MJ, and Ellie perched themselves on his couch and chairs. MJ reclining, Ellie on the couch while Ned sat at his desk chair.

"Do you have nooks in the ceiling?" MJ asked, and Peter nodded.

"Wanna sit in one?"

MJ hummed to herself, allowing her friend to crawl up and proceed to lower his webbing and help her up. She'd known about the secret, assumingly longer than Ned.

Peter adored the new nooks, there was one in every corner. Large and stuffed with mattresses and blankets. The inside wall of the upper left corner had a bookcase, the upper right corners wall had a flatscreen TV, while the bottom left nook had a mini fridge, and the bottom right was a pitch black soundproofed room with a latched door.

Tony had developed it so if he'd become overwhelmed he could hide away. Turn off his brain and rest for a while. He'd been grateful enough to cry his thank you's, while Tony blushed and shrugged him off before hugging him close.

Tony tearing up when in Peter’s thanks, he'd accidentally called him dad.  And Tony couldn't have been happier.

"Yo Webhead! Can I get in one too?"

"You want the TV room or the tiny kitchen?" He asked, offering Ellie his hand.

"TV."

Peter obliged, helping her up.

"Oh. Ned I forgot, I got the AT-AT Lego set!" Peter shouted excitedly.

"Sweet," Ned drawled watching as Peter pulled the box from his closet, and settling on the floor beside him as they got to work. MJ peering down at them as she drew, happily surrounded by some of her favorite books. Ellie tweeting, and watching Wade fail on the news.

\---

Peter chatted animatedly with Harley during his sessions. Feeling a lot better now that he'd been working through his troubles.

It hurt to bring back those memories, but as he finally let go. The world was no longer on his shoulders.

The sessions left him vulnerable, they made him happy.

And after the sessions, he'd find either Tony or May and snuggle into their side. The two didn't seem to mind, praising him for his progress. Making sure he knew he was safe and loved.

\---

Peter screamed, "The Star Wars trailer is so good!" As he ran around the compound, jumping at Happy in a hug before dropping and tackling Mr. Stark into a hug. Tony caught him quickly, laughing at the boy's excitement.

"The Porg is so cute, and so is the ice dog!" Peter squealed, dropping from the billionaire's torso before rolling on the balls of his feet.

Tony kind-heartedly rolled his eyes, Peter following him as he rambled about how much he loved Princess Leia.

"Why don't you help me out with my gauntlets," Tony questioned with a smirk.

Peter gasped and nodded in excitement.

As the two worked, Tony couldn't help but smile fondly at his son.

\---

Peter crawled up into his Aunt's bed, May lifting up the covers as Peter snuggled in.

"Morning sweetheart," she yawned, pulling Peter under her chin as the two slept in for the rest of the morning.

"You ready to go back home?" She asked into his hair, fingers running through Peter's soft strands.

"I don't want to leave Tony," he whispered, hugging tightly to his Aunt. Eyes fluttering at each brush of her fingers in his hair.

"I know you don't baby, but this is his home. And I'm sure they'll be bringing you back here after school and on the weekends."

Peter nodded, letting his eyes fall shut so she wouldn't see his tears. Parting from Tony shouldn't seem so hard, but it was.

\---

Shuffling into the front door of his apartment, Peter inhaled deeply. Letting his lungs fill with air, as he stared at their little apartment.

Hand searching for his Aunt. She gripped his hand in reassurance, Peter's tense shoulders slipping at her touch.

"We're okay baby," she whispered into his hair, shutting the door behind them.

\---

Yipping in excitement, Peter swung from the sky. Karen chatting in his ear at where to go next.

And when a giant alien tried swiping him out from under his feet later that day. Iron-Man came swooping in.

\---

"You're back Penis," Flash chuckled, as MJ walked up. Using Peter's shoulder as an armrest.

"Yeah so you're the understudy again," she told him bluntly. Ned cackling behind his hand at Flash' wide eyes.

"But...but..."

"Oh god please don't slap my ass again," Peter said unexpectedly, earning laughs from everyone in the hall and a few high fives which showed off his Stark watch once again on his wrist. Flash struggled to find a response before growling and shoving past the trio and running to class.

Peter smiled widely, before strolling to class.

Head in the clouds as he imaged what other adventures he had yet to come.

\---

As Peter overlooked the city, he smiled at how far he'd come. Yet something was missing, and he knew exactly what it was.


	15. Beginning and End, I'll never know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I honestly can't believe I've finished, I've wanted to write this for so long and am so proud to have finished it. Thank you for your constant waiting on this story, and the love and support.
> 
> But I have a very serious announcement! My works for Peter will continue, but I plan on changing things up a bit! I recently started daredevil and honestly, I'm in love with a fatherly Matt and son Peter, so you can be sure you'll be seeing some of those too! And with school my schedule will be in shambles, so I know I'm very much known for constant updates, but I think I'll only be able to do on weekends much like I've had to do currently. And long stories will not likely be coming until my next break, lucky for you I have breaks quite frequently. I wanted to say thank you again. This is my 80 story on this account and I couldn't be happier to have such dedicated reader friends, I love you all my loves!

They sat together at the large marble table. Tony at the very end, Peter on the last seat to the right with Pepper on the other side. May sat on Peter's side, while Rhodey and Happy sat beside Pepper.

Tony tried desperately to hold back the pink hue forming on his cheeks as he looked down at the Iron-Man cake. His family lovingly singing the _Happy Birthday_ tune to him as he waited to blow out the candles.

Hands frisking in his lap as he held his wish in his heart. Knowing it was partially true, Peter had very well become family. He just hoped to have a bigger part, _a father_. Hell, he'd accept guardian as well, he just wanted legal proof the child he'd come to care for was really his. So it was not just known by him, but by anyone who cared to check.

He had to see it in writing, he needed to feel the bumps of his signature on the thin smooth paper that would bind his little family together.

And as he blew out the candles, they clapped. Peter blowing on a red squawker that screamed loudly. Party hats tilted on all their heads.

The hat on Peter's head pushing his hair in odd angles much like it did with Tony's. While May wore hers like a horn, and Happy and Pepper had brushed the party favors off. Rhodey quickly taking his off and settling all three on Happy's head.

He was unamused. Especially when Peter took a photo and Tony called for FRIDAY to take some too.

Before the man could take them off Tony spoke up, "It's my birthday you have to look like me." And the man's hands fell, and May started to cut the cake.

At the words, Peter stood before leaving the room only to come back wearing one of Tony's suit jackets. Tony nearly choked on his cake when he walked in, the family laughing along with Peter. Before Tony chucked a piece of cake at the boy.

You'd think Peter would have dodged but he really wasn't expecting it. They only laughed harder, as Peter pulled the red and yellow frosting off his face and ate it.

"This is the best cake ever!" He exclaimed excitedly, May already rubbing off the boy with napkins as Peter continued to eat the lump of cake that had landed on his shoulder.

Tony smiled proudly, wiping the icing off his fingers as he dug in.

The teen brushed off his Aunt, not caring if he still had cake in his hair, and sticking to his lashes and face. Taking his seat and speaking up, "This is your jacket, this stuff is never coming out."

Tony could tell, the red icing lightly staining the boy's skin. He only laughed, "You need a shower, and I have plenty of others mini-me."

The young vigilante snorted at that, nearly falling over in his chair laughing. A soft, "god I love you," falling from his lips.

Peter wiped his tears of joy away, taking some frosting with it. They ate, drinking sparkling cider and laughing at all their misadventures and shenanigans.

Like when Tony fell off his rolly chair while trying to screw in a vent, and when Happy jumped at least five feet in the air when Peter surprised him while upsidedown.

And when May nearly burned their kitchen down while trying to make cookies. Or when Rhodey paid Pepper to call Tony, Tony Stank all day. Maybe Peter had helped by begging with his fawn eyes, but Tony didn't have to know. Rhodey got in trouble enough.

Rhodey still complains that he's no longer Iron-Patriot.

And the funniest of all was when Peter had attempted to swing himself at Tony while he was on the phone, Tony paced out of the way without realizing it. And with a thud, Peter hit the clear windows. The billionaire so startled at the thud he dropped the phone, looking down at the floor at the winded teen. All Peter could do was goofily smirk up at him, blood dripping from his broken nose.

Rhodey pulled up a box from under the table and they all knew it was time for presents. Peter's leg jumped with nervousness, watching Rhodey hand the box to the billionaire.

Of course Tony spoke up, "You guys didn't have to get me anything, but thank you honey-bear."

Rhodey only cackled, giving a grin. As he watched Tony tear into the box, laughing madly at the gift inside. Toy gauntlets and an Iron-Man mask.

May laughed, "I remember when Peter had one of those." Peter blushed, ducking his head, but the fact alone was a gift in itself to Tony.

Pepper smiled warmly at the two, she'd known Peter had looked up to her fiance, and the thought of a young Peter wearing the toy brought soft tears to her eyes. She'd never wanted children before, but if she had to have one. She only wished it had been Peter.

Happy slid the small rectangular black box towards him, the red bow holding it shut. Tony gave small thanks before pulling the bow open and pulling off the top. Inhaling sharply as he looked down at the watch, modeled as his iconic arc reactor.

"Thank you Happy," he smiled, the blue glass reflecting in his brown eyes.

"You're welcome."

Pepper was next, sliding a familiar box towards him. The black ring box. Earlier in the week Tony had _misplaced_ his ring and had apologized profusely.

Not knowing Pepper had, in fact, took it to have cleaned and engraved.

He smiled as he opened the box, the two giving each other a loving kiss before he slipped it back on his finger.

"You scared me," he admitted. She gave a quirky smile and apologized, the two intertwining their ring clad fingers. Before May and Peter slid their gift towards the man of iron.

It was nothing fancy, a yellow file. The couple's hands let go as he carefully opened the folder. Pulling several pieces of paper from the file.

Eyes quickly and seriously reading through them, the Parker duo watching anxiously, while the others watched curiously. It was silent in the room, and the man's eyes welled up quickly with tears. He nodded quickly, standing to go find a pen right away. Peter stood in fear as if he'd done something wrong, but the hug he was pulled into silenced those thoughts.

His mentor, now guardian, nodding into his hair as he was pressed firmly into his chest.

"I'm not crying, the cake in your hair got in my eye," Tony defended weakly, body shaking with silent sobs. Peter pressed himself close, scrawny strong arms holding tightly to the mans back. When the pulled apart, they were still holding to each other, Peter letting soft tears fall from his cheek too.

"I got cake on you," Peter happily wept, while Tony looked over at his fiancé who held a pen in her hands.

"Don't worry about it kiddo," the Inventor smiled, wiping off the leftover cake and tears on the boy's face.

And repeating Peter's earlier words, Tony huffed.

"God I love you," before adding, "So much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the top note for an important message!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovelies; check me out on tumblr and say hello. (Make sure to let me know you're from archive)
> 
> Tumblr: collectanea1122


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